2019 has been a year of highs and lows for me, as I’m sure it has been for you, but what makes it worse is that this was my final year of high school.
The year has been jam-packed with exams, homework, community service, matric farewell, valedictory and the list goes on. However, it has not only been my studies that has kept me busy all year, but my general life as well. I gave up horse riding because my body just can’t handle it anymore, but I was elected as the Captain of the team and so I was at almost every school competition which took part throughout the year on the weekends. I was up and down with my parents to look at different universities as well. Not to mention the amount of times I went to see a doctor an hour away from us for my headaches and pain in my body. I have also had to maintain a good social life as well so that I had a healthy balance between my school, home and friend life. This meant that I would go out to parties with my friends on weekends, go see a movie with them either on weekends or during the week, I would also see my boyfriend on the weekends as well (yay I can soon start seeing him everyday when I write my last exam!).
I have been extremely busy this entire year which has made me quite stressed and throughout the year my stress went from bad to worse to almost unbearable. This led me to become depressed and filled with anxiety so I’ve had to deal with my mental health on top of everything else. So when did I write and read? Simple – I didn’t.
If it wasn’t a creative writing essay or literature essay on the set works we were given for English, I wouldn’t be writing or reading for myself. By the time I would get home from school I’d be too tired and quite frankly I wouldn’t want to see another book (notebook or novel) or pen or keyboard for the rest of the day. And so even though I did have maybe an hour or two after school to write or read for my own amusement I just didn’t make use of it; I would instead watch a show on T.V. or a movie/series on Netflix (like The Walking Dead – my favourite show which you probably know if you follow me on twitter (; ).
English has been my favourite subject for two years now. This is because since year 11 we began with a completely new approach to the subject than we had in the previous years and I’ve loved the way we’ve been working with it ever since. However, this year my marks for my pieces had dropped – last year I never got less than a B for every term – and started receiving C’s. Now I know this isn’t a terrible drop/mark, but to me it plain and simply sucked.
All the work of this year and receiving marks that were not to my standards took the joy out of writing for me. Towards the end of the year I started to enjoy it a bit more and decided that I’m going to give writing another chance; I had so many ideas, but I just haven’t had the time to begin working on them. However, I have started to read for pleasure again even though it’s going a bit slower than usual and I have also managed (to my amazement) to remember the ideas for the story I want to produce.
I have my last three papers next week and after that I plan on really setting my mind to what I want to do. I hope that my love for reading and writing returns, although it never really left it was just hiding away. I also cannot let lower marks affect the way I feel about my passions because I know that in this world of writing there will be rejections upon rejections upon rejections and this year has taught me to not take everything so seriously and to get back up when you get knocked down because if you don’t then life will crush you and send you into dark places that, believe me, you do not want to be in.
I plan on reinventing myself this month. To push outside of my comfort zone with my writing and to not let life get me down – although that will be a challenge for me, but I’m not one to shy away from a challenge.
How do you handle setbacks in life that affect your progress whether it be in your studies, work or writing? Let me know in the comments!